Sex Addiction and Rehabilitation

What is Sex Addiction?

Sex addiction is not defined by the type of partners or the type of sexual act. Sexual addiction is defined by the obsessive-compulsive nature of the practice of a sexual habit regardless of its negative health consequences for oneself or the others involved.

In this way prostitution, pornography or homosexuality is not considered a sex addiction per se. Because these behaviors are taboo in our society, those who enter in their practice may feel shame and keep it a secret to be accepted and not stigmatized. However, the sex addict will show disrespect for or abuse of the other person, will be oblivious to the health risk associated with his behavior and will constantly search to satisfy his addiction.

Connection to Drug Addiction

Sex addiction is often associated with drug addiction and may play an important role in initiating drug use in the search for a more intense pleasure. Therefore, it is important to address all sex issues that may be associated with drug use for a permanent recovery.

Case 1

John is 49 years old HIV positive gay man who came to our center for methamphetamine rehabilitation. He had relapsed several times and committed to stay at our center for 3 weeks. In the course of his counseling sessions we discovered that his use of the drug was associated with his compulsory sex habits. He first viewed pornographic material then he liked to hire a prostitute and have a special type of sex or go to a bathhouse for a anonymous sex. John had a 8-year long relationship with a partner. He did not have regular sex with his partner and was hiding his activities from him. His sexual behavior was inevitably leading to methamphetamine use.

Our psychological intervention consisted in couple counseling and individual sessions with cognitive behavioral therapy. The recovery developed along the following lines:

• Question the value of the search for pleasure
• Introspection on his true feelings for his partner
• Spiritual opening and becoming committed to honesty and respect of his partner
• Fear of intimacy
• Health risks involved and contamination of partners with unprotected sex
• Original childhood trauma

Case 2

Dean is the executive director of a popular daily paper in a large town. He is married with two children and came to my office as an outpatient. He practiced the Reichian Breathwork twice a week for two years. When he first arrived he did not look straight at me, but rather looked down. He kept getting erections during the work for many sessions After trusting me, he confessed that he liked to visit prostitutes quite often and that he felt very shameful about it. He was married for 15 years and never told his wife or anyone about his illegal activities.

The therapeutic process allowed Dean to discover the reasons of his interests for sex with prostitutes and he broke through his fear and talk to his wife openly. As a consequence, his secret behavior disappeared, slowly trust was built in his relationship with his wife and their relationship improved. Dean changed his life completely after the therapy ended and said it was the most important transformation of his life.

Case 3

Michael is a 35 year old man married for 10 years to a woman he said he loved. They both participated in regular psychotherapy group meetings once a month. In the course of one of the meetings Michael felt that he had to share something special. He told every one that he was an exhibitionist and described how he would expose himself out from the window of his apartment or wait in a garage for a woman to get into her car, follow her in his car and masturbate. Michael had to face the anger of the women in the group and of her wife in particular. Michael’s behavior stopped right after this group session.

Case 4

Ronny is a 32 year old man who is in the porno sex industry and came to our retreat center to stop his methamphetamine addiction. Ronny had a girlfriend who was not using drugs. Ronny physical recovery was spectacular. When he arrived he was covered with skin lesions, was very pale and exhausted from his nightlife. After 2 weeks his skin had completely healed. He enjoyed working in the garden, and going to the market to buy presents for everyone. Pornographic activities were tied up with his livelihood and his time with us was too limited. He stayed 2 weeks only. During his stay he was tested for HIV and was found positive. He returned to his home-town and relapsed.

These case stories show how sex addiction is intertwined with drug addiction and how they magnify each others. It also shows what makes them a neurotic or dysfunctional behavior: the pleasure enjoyed from the secrecy, the compulsory component, the violation, lack of respect and abuse of the other, the compulsory search for pleasure, disregard for health and self-destructive behavior.

How Do We Treat Sex Addiction?

Sex and food addiction differ from drug addiction by the fact that the addicted mind uses a natural need of the body rather than a substance. Therefore, abstinence is not an option for permanent rehabilitation.

Our therapeutic goals will be:

• Heal the shame and secrecy of the habit in timely disclosure
• Restore trust and intimacy with the life partner
• Evaluate belief system and promote a change in values
• Heal the initial trauma that may be on the way of intimate relationship
• Reconcile love and sex

Sex Therapist with 30 Years Experience

Not everybody can counsel about sex. Talking about sex freely, requires someone who has no shame about the subject or his own sexuality and has done an extensive work on themselves to take down barriers, accept variety and does not have religious limitations. Someone who has conquered his own taboos, has no negative judgment about homosexuality, prostitution or unusual sexual practices.

Dr. Maya Nicole Baylac is that person. She has been a sex therapist for the last 30 years, and a Tantra practitioner and teacher. She is assisted by other counselors who have done a similar work on themselves and have experience in addressing sex addiction issues.

We use couple counseling, group therapy, Reichian Breathwork, Tantra and cognitive behavioral therapy in our in-patient programs to achieve the best success in modifying behavior, and to promote playful and satisfying sex associated with love and meditation.

HAWAII NATURAL DRUG REHABILITATION                                       & RAW DETOXIFICATION CENTER